Totally been a wreck!

I have not blogged in at least a good week, mostly because I have been dealing with the bull shit of life. I guess I am finally out of the toxic relationship that I have been in for four years. I really have been down about it, my studying has started to suffer from it. I am really not eating, my blood pressure was really high today at my doctors appointment. After being with someone for four years, it really can put your mind in a place that even you do not understand. The time does not even have anything to do with it`s, how much I loved some one and really thought we belonged together in love. I felt he was the only one for me, I really am confused now. I do not know who will have me, I am trying to just focus on my career and being a better mother to my daughter. I am crushed really badly on the inside, but I am going to move on and take it as what it is. A bunch of bullshit! but I refuse to just sit around and be mad a long with being unhappy. I am getting up studying for both of my certifications, taking care of my daughter, and continuing the existence of my book that I am writing. I am going to just focus on the future and forget all my past situations, and stay by myself for a long time. ( I really do need some sex though.) But anyway I am going to get back on track with my blogging starting today!……

Hopefully my followers are still out there, Thanks for reading…..

Free Writing

It`s funny someone can really start a burning fire inside of you for them. When you really feel like you love someone, it just goes on and on never stopping…. You want to be with them on every level that they allow you. Genuinely being happy with someone, every emotion you feel is solely from their energy. Feeling love is a special feeling, it can be the worse thing or the best thing you have ever experienced. Love is hell just as much as it is heaven. You get all the good with the bad when you love someone. Even when they have hurt you to the core of your heart. That fire burning inside of you just wont go out, you love that person. From the bottom of the barrel they sometimes throw you in, unconditional love never changes on any occasion.

That feeling….

Ever asked someone a pondered upon question…… And you feel the lie coming before they open their mouth to answer? That`s what just happened about 20 minutes ago to me, my man of course….. I asked a question and he lied about I felt it, in my bones. The whole situation was just suspicious, but it is okay because I am way on the other side of the room now. Whatever he is lying about ill come to the light eventually, I always find out the truth one way or another….