relationship

 

I am just seeing more and more, how this can not work. Love is strong, but it can only take so much. I have no nerve to leave, I am petrified of it. Though sometimes especially when we are arguing, it sits at the tip of my tongue. Maybe you deserve better than me, I know I deserve better than you. I know my self worth, I live in fear a lot though. Yeah I know it is sin to live in fear. I just can not get over things, and breaking up with someone. Feeling the pain of losing someone, I really can not stand to feel that kind of pain right now. I give you to much power over me, slowly I am taking it back. All because you make me see a future without you, or anyone else but my daughter. See you threaten to leave me, but you never do. I never threaten to leave you, when I say those words it will be true. That`s why I tell you not to threaten me with that bull shit. Cause you do not mean it, just saying things to get under my skin. I am not perfect I am sure of it, I grind your gears as well. This just will not work for much longer, you say too many hurtful when you are angry. Your actions of taking my things, is going on far too much as well. I really am on the edge, I know I can do better and by better I mean being with myself.  Myself is always with me, when nobody else is. I can keep myself afloat, I can buy myself nice things and do what I want. Instead of trying to be faithful to you, sitting at home. I have prayed to god and this relationship really is in his hands. If we are supposed to be I believe god will show us how. But if it is in his plan to separate us, I am making sure I am prepared for it. I ill never cry over another man, or you. I will not give myself to another man either, I will only put time in myself and my daughter. I really hate being with you at this point, and it hurts because I love you so much!

Fuck Florida`s Weather!

florida

 

 

I reside in Florida I have been a Floridian my whole life, one thing you never get use to. (Or at least I have not) Is the bi-polar weather we have year round here. Well…. let me not over exaggerate the summer here is just plain hot. But after summer through winter and into spring. It is the worst, one day its sunshine and cool winds, the next its freezing and your heater is on. Some days it just rains, and our rainy days can be accompanied by hot, or cold air as well. What kills me the most is when the sun is out and it is freezing or when it is raining and it is so hot outside. (The sun sometimes shines then too) What the fuck Florida! choose already make up your damn mind, my A/C bill is sky rocket high. Seriously I hate the weather here, sometimes it can be hot or freezing in the morning. Then in the afternoon it flips in to the opposite of what the morning weather was. If you turn your A/C on then you definitely do not want to run your heater in the same day. (Which is what Florida will make you do.) Even just a change of one or two degrees on your thermostat and, that will alter your light bill alone. I really had to vent how I felt this morning, because last night it was so hot (The fans were on). We woke up this morning and my house is freezing again, I am trying to keep my light bill down. Because I have to pay $429.00 dollars to JEA this month for last month, which of course I can not just pull out of my purse all at once. But we have just been keeping the whole A/C unit off no heat or A/C, so a neutral weather would be helpful right now. Especially with a three year old running around the house, but this is just my early morning vent today if you read it.

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