Feelings

I have to pour my feelings out, keeping them bottled up tips my spout. Sending a walking tsunami about, I hate that I have to feel things. I would be in a much better head space if I could easily just walk away from situations. That`s all part of being damaged though, and that is just a shadow of why I am Insecure Bre and AnnAerB.

Feelings I have they just fucking don`t, I often try to change myself. But when your`re too real, that`s impossible to do. You are you, that will never change no matter how much I change my hair, or shoes. Even if I changed my personality that still would not be me, that`s a fake image I am painting over me. Hiding myself from everything, and to be honest. I can do all that by just smoking a blunt, yeah I hide in those clouds of smoke. I love it, everything I don`t want to fucking deal with. A puff or two takes me away from it. I rather just get high anyway, it takes less energy than putting make over my beautiful face.

 

 

Dear 2018

Dear 2018, It has been one full day already and I can already say I had better days last year. Are you going to be as cruel as the years past? Please tell me that you are going to give me some slack. I honestly can`t go through another viscous year, I am going to put effort in to changing for the better again. I am not going to say that this is my year, that seems to be a curse that lasts all year. I am just going to work hard and continue, trying to be a good mommy and writer. I am finally following my true dream, which seems to call me near everyday. I am completely walking on the faith in god, he has not failed me with my writing before. So I do not feel there will be any change in god, allowing me to succeed with my writing career. I just wont be graded by teachers anymore. (LOL) 2018 just be a start that would be enough for me, nothing happens over night. But in a year I change a lot of variables.

Demons

They like to play with out any care, at any time they`ll let them selves in. They have their own key to your mind. Its their personal play ground, at first ignoring them is really hard. But if you work at it you can at least hear past them, and listen to yourself. Fear only fuels them, if you do what they say it enables them to do more.I fight with them everyday, praying to my Lord scares them into an idle mode.  I just hope one day I`ll actually win, to put my mind at peace and stop trying to control the uncontrollable. I will finally be happy with myself.

Built a friend aaaannnnddd….

Marcy`s smiled at her desirable body in the mirror, she really adored her own reflection. Nobody could tell her that she was not the shit, but nobody could stand her either. She had no friends, or even anybody to call an associate. One day she came up with a bright idea, she decided to build-a-friend. She had her, assistant put out an ad that offered the task of being Marcy`s best friend. Nobody personally could stand her but, the rest of the world knew Marcy Anderson. The Owner of Chic L.A., and she`s modeled in the most popular magazines that you can find online. So the line from the street into her office, was outrageous. They auditioned every type of women you could describe in your mind. None of them sparked a connection, with Marcy. After the second day of auditioning another ton of women. Marcy had just about had enough.

“This is bullshit I cant believe I am not connecting with any woman that comes through that door.”

“Yes I understand, I apologize for this failed experiment. Do you want your lunch now ma`am?”

“Yeah and a blunt too, roll it tight. Don`t have all that weed falling my mouth.”

“Yes ma`am right away.”

Tiffany came back with Marcy`s lunch and recreational activity, once they were half through with the blunt. Marcy had taken a long look at Tiffany, which made her realize what she had been looking for was right in front of her all along. An unattractive girl to turn pretty, and force a friendship with.

“Tiffany….. we get along right?”

“Yes, I think we get along just fine.”

“Hm….. Well you win.”

“Win what ma`am?”

“The position to be my best friend, your fired let`s go shopping.”

“FIRED! BUT MA`-”

“Don`t worry, I am paying you just as much as I do now. But find me a new secretary first will you?”

“Sure Ma`am, I will find you one tomorrow.”

“Thanks, now stop calling me ma`am I am no longer your boss. Lets go.”

Tiffany was in for the life change of her life, and did not even know. Marcy was going to transform her from ugly Betty in to a sexy vixen. Tiffany had no style, that hair was over do for a touch up, and that make up she wears actually hurts her more than it helps.

Will this friendship work out, when Marcy is trying to change Tiffany?

Or will hell eventually break loose?

Come back and see what happens next time…..

 

 

 

What does it mean to you?

Do we really ever love someone?
I believe some of us do…..

Just no most of us, to truly love some one?

What does truly loving someone really even mean?

I know to me it`s love that never fades, you want to be with that person everyday nothing they do will keep you away. Its more than being together having money and nice things, that person fills your soul. Your heart sangs that persons name, when you see them excitement seeps through you.