So not stressed!

Leaning to the right, blurred vision and slurred words. I am hammered, do not judge me please. I may be in my feelings but I am going to chill out and enjoy the night. Ignoring all the messages and calls you are sending my way, I am so gone from you.

You are a sick twisted mother fucker, in the morning I am sure you`ll still be saying that you miss me. I`ll be laid up with someone new, twerking this ass, throwing it back on some good dick.

All while my phone is ringing, I might answer.

So you can listen to all stress free shit I am doing.

Free writing

Can Marvin`s room be a dark room?

No light, no idle people or loud noises just a peaceful room.

To do some soul searching.

I`ve lost myself, I feel this is going to be forever trying to find myself again.

Searching for happiness in my heart, everything I think of hurts my head.

These people don`t care for me, none of them are my friends.

Fucking leaches, leave me alone!

Marvin`s room will be just for me.

 

My apologies…

If I have ever spoken of happiness, forgive me I was wrong and lying. I do not know what happiness is. So therefore I can not speak as if I have had the pleasure.

Pain is all I have ever known, it`s embedded in my life story. Every emotion I feel stems from pain. I live in a semi depression, the therapist is recommending pills.

You can hear it in my voice and see it in my eyes, and the way move about things. I don`t know any better, these are the cards god dealt me. If only he gave me lemonade instead… It would probably just turn out sour…

Every part of my life from childhood, I can remember vividly what and when something happened to me. How it affected me, and is a part of who I am today.

Letting things go is something I just can not bring myself to do. I have tried, I have prayed, I have cried, all the time I feel the anger I carry on me from these things.

Nobody understands me, to know me is to understand.

That`s what this world has always lacked of though.

Understanding and genuine concern. Just covering up hiding behind our masks we put on for the world. We all say we`re “Fine” when really none of us are.

Just faking being happy and that is not real so how can it be an emotion if you are not really feeling happy?

 

 

 

 

 

Free writing

We share loves forsaken gift, everybody wants it.

People will go to ridiculous lengths, trying to stop us.

Rare our love is, why would we not hold on. The thought of pulling away, hurts like a  stab wound… Right to the chest.

How do you come back from that? Losing you will be no option, we`re giving all of ourselves to each other.

Hoping we don`t let it go for nothing, love out weighs our wants and fantasies.

On our best days, I fear of life without you.