Welp….

My pc has been broken and I hate working from my phone but I will be back posting tomorrow….. I was trying to wait on my PC to get fixed but I am just going to post from my phone!

Peace love and hair grease guys…..

I just cry

I just had to cry today.

I am a cup filled to the rim.

One bump to the table I’ll be wasted.

Maybe then I will be relieved from this shit I hold in.

Some days I ask myself.

Why do you even get out of bed bitch?

I never reply, that’s just demons talking.

I had to cry today, sometimes that’s the only way I can regroup to have a better day.

Thoughts are cds, on repeat.

All day, your hear them. The ones from way in the back of my mind.

Yeah.

They’re the loudest, they’re everything I try so hard to forget about.

I just had to cry, looking at my child. Just thinking how she deserves a better life.

Sometimes I think she may deserves a better mother. She loves me like nobody else does though.

I just had to cry today.

My still born son.

I imagine him all the time.

His tiny body…

Lifeless, saw the first and last breathe he ever took.

I Wish he was alive, with me instead of in an urn.

These tears, every drop has a reason. They belong to all the unhealed scars I have in my heart.

Crying gives me a different feeling that isn’t angry or happy. I am sick of every feeling except sadness.

It is a relief.

So sometimes I just cry.

King

King…

My ruler!

Protector.

Only man I can run to.

Do you hear that loud roaring thunder?

It’s my heart.

That lightening strong and bright.

Is my love and faith that I have in you.

My king lead the way.

I am behind you.

Following you every step of the way.

When the world is crowding you, weighing heavy on your shoulders.

Turn around, give it to me.

I’ll carry it for you.

My love for you is endless.

My king.

I am forever loyal to you.